One of my favourite pieces of research is the finding that people giving advice are more likely to change their behaviour than those receiving it. This is because the person giving advice is actually thinking about it and processing the information at a deeper level. The person receiving the advice is just hearing it. And as well know, most of what we hear we forget.
Harvard Business Review nails it: Great advice isn’t a monologue — it’s a brainstorm.You don’t need to be a guru. You need to be a collaborator.
Start Doing This:
- Ask questions before you offer solutions.
- Share your experience with humility and empathy.
- Help the person tailor your advice to their own messy, real-life situation.
Stop Doing This:
- Launch into advice without listening first.
- Assume your advice is a perfect fit.
Bottom line: Think of advice not as a 1-way transfer of wisdom, but as a joint brainstorming session. This is the essence of coaching. When it’s done well, people don’t just hear advice — they actually use it!
