NZders are the worst in the OECD in having difficult conversations! Perhaps because we are closer to our people than in other countries. Avoiding those conversations can quietly erode trust, stall progress, and strain relationships more than we realise.
Joel’s article has some great tips – especially to go in expecting to build the relationship rather than fearing we are going to break it. Having these discussions and keeping in mind the 5.1:1 ratio of positives to negatives can result in a better relationship (the five are the listening more, showing you understand, asking questions to increase your understanding etc)!
In Harvard Business Review, Joel Garfinkel — executive coach and author of Difficult Conversations: Practical Tactics for Crucial Conversation — shares some smart, doable strategies for making those tough talks a little less intimidating.
- Ditch the need to be liked: Approach the conversation with curiosity and respect. The more open you are to listening, the more likely they are to listen back.
- Listen more than you speak: Forget rehearsing the perfect speech. Instead, stay present, observe how the conversation unfolds, and respond thoughtfully. Keep your feedback short and ask questions to understand their perspective.
- Get to the point: Be kind, but don’t tiptoe. Clarity builds trust.
- Stop stalling: The longer you delay, the heavier it weighs. Say what needs to be said, listen deeply — then breathe.
- Expect good things: Shift your mindset toward what this conversation can build, not what it might break.
A great share from the Glasers!
