We were recently asked to present a talk on belonging. They had noticed that remote workers seemed to be less connected to their organisations and were concerned about the impact of this.
200 people came to explore the topic. The conversations afterwards confirmed what the research already tells us — this is a subject that resonates deeply, because it touches something fundamentally human.
Here’s a summary of what we covered.
What Is Belonging, Really?
Belonging isn’t a soft, nice-to-have concept — it’s a specific psychological state. It’s what happens when we feel cared about, accepted, included and valued by the people around us. It’s the ability to relax, be ourselves, and put ideas forward without fear of judgement or rejection. In te ao Māori, this concept is beautifully captured by tūrangawaewae — literally, “your place to stand.”
The Business Case Is Overwhelming
The data presented made it clear that belonging isn’t just good for people — it’s good for the bottom line. Organisations with strong belonging see significant gains in job performance, retention, and attendance, alongside measurable improvements in engagement, safety, and profitability. Teams with a strong sense of belonging are dramatically more engaged and more satisfied in their roles.
The Cost of Disconnection
The flip side is sobering. Employees who feel lonely at work are less innovative, take more sick leave, and make poorer decisions. Of the top predictors of burnout, work loneliness — having no one to talk to or engage with at work — was by far the strongest, outranking even excessive hours or constant mobile connectivity.
It’s Also a Health Issue
Perhaps the most striking statistic of the day: chronic loneliness carries health risks comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, including a significantly elevated risk of heart attack and stroke. Social connection, by contrast, is genuinely protective — reducing illness risk, supporting healthy cholesterol, and even lowering the risk of dementia.
How Big Is the Problem?
Locally and globally, the numbers tell a clear story: a large proportion of adults report regular loneliness, a notable share of workers say they felt lonely at work just the day before, and burnout risk across the workforce has climbed sharply since the pandemic. Many people also report lacking a “third place” — a regular space outside work and home where they connect and belong.
The Frameworks We Shared
Two frameworks helped ground the discussion:
- Dunbar’s Number — the idea that humans can only meaningfully sustain relationships with around 150 people, nested in smaller circles of acquaintances, friends, and close confidants. It’s a useful reminder of how precious and finite real connection is.
- Owen Eastwood’s model of belonging — which moves beyond simple “fit” toward authenticity, identity, and psychological safety, highlighting how leaders can build cohesive teams by integrating individual and collective identity, trust, and open communication.
So What Can We Actually Do About It?
This was the heart of the session — practical, low-cost actions at every level of the organisation:
Leadership – Small, consistent moments of connection matter more than grand gestures — checking in, protecting social time, and dealing with incivility early before it erodes trust.
Culture — the Four A’s A simple habit model: Aware, Acknowledge, Appreciate, Accommodate. Noticing people, recognising contributions, showing small gestures of thanks, and flexing for others’ needs.
Team Level – Leaving breathing room between meetings, shared morning teas, celebrating milestones and friendships, and regular genuine check-ins all build connection — and teams that celebrate friendships at work see a substantial lift in engagement.
Structural Changes – Simple policy shifts can help! No emails on weekends, protected face-to-face time, paid lunches — remove friction and protect the time people need to connect.
Onboarding – First impressions matter enormously. A well-planned welcome — letting the team know someone’s starting, a buddy system, and proper introductions — sets the tone for whether a new employee feels they belong from day one.
A Word on Remote Work
One of the more nuanced findings: hybrid and remote workers report feeling notably lonelier than before the pandemic, largely because remote work strips out the incidental connection — the chat before a meeting, the person you bump into in the hallway. The fix isn’t necessarily “more days in the office,” but making the time together count, and being intentional about connection regardless of where people work.
The Takeaway
Belonging isn’t a soft issue — it’s a fundamental human need, and right now, many of us aren’t getting enough of it at work (or home). The encouraging news is that leaders, teams, and organisations all have real, practical levers they can pull — starting today.
