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admin/ 22 August 2025

The power of curiosity in high stakes conversations

I have had the privilege of working with the University of Canterbury MBA Leadership paper over the last five years. One of the highlights is reading about people's leadership journeys over the course of the programme and seeing the wins from people moving from problem solving to growing their people and their capabilities. Jeff Wetzler, author of  Ask: Tap into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life, suggests when walking into high-stakes conversations are you focused on winning … or learning? If your mind’s racing with rebuttals and rehearsed lines, pause. Before you speak, do a quick “Curiosity Check.” It takes five minutes — and it can change everything. Jeff calls this a mindset reset. Instead of gearing up for battle, you shift from defensive certainty to genuine curiosity. That shift opens the door to insight, connection, and breakthrough. ​ Here’s how to do it:

  1. Spot your starting point. Think of curiosity as a spectrum. On one end: “Self-Righteous Disdain,” “Confident Dismissal,” “Skeptical Tolerance.” On the other: “Cautious Openness,” “Genuine Interest,” “Fascinated Wonder.” Ask yourself: When I hit disagreement, where do I land? That awareness is your launchpad.
  2. Choose your destination. Don’t try to leap from zero to zen. Just pick a mindset that’s one step closer to curiosity. Maybe you move from Confident Dismissal to Cautious Openness. That’s progress.
  3. Ask better questions. What might they be struggling with? What’s not being said? How could my words land? What assumptions am I making? These questions shift your stance—and your impact.

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admin/ 21 August 2025

Leaders: Vikings with a Mothers Heart?

A great interview with Gilbert Enoka, who has studied sports psychology and worked with a number of top teams. In his book, Become Unstoppable, he posits that great leaders are Vikings - they have fierce determination (the same as Level 5 Leadership) but with a mother's heart. This echo's Brene Brown, 'a strong back and a soft front' or Dr Lester Levy's 'the mind of a manager and the soul of a leader'. These are great analogies for the need for leaders to have drive and direction but the compassion and willingness to engage with people and build relationships. In her book Cues, Vanessa Van Edwards suggests having this combination of warmth and competence is what people admire and see as charisma. It is striking how far we have come in terms of our acceptance of these techniques. When Gilbert Enoka started working with top rugby teams in the 80s, the idea of a 'mental skills coach' was frowned upon. So much so that when he was with a Canterbury team in the late 80s , he had to be disguised as a masseur whenever senior rugby officials were around!

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admin/ 18 August 2025

Eight Ways to Support Your Employees in Uncertain Times

When there’s uncertainty, distress tends to follow. Our brains are hardwired for certainty. Evolutionarily speaking, predictability was what kept us alive, and our amygdala can perceive uncertainty as a threat, which kicks off the stress response. A few years ago, it was the pandemic. More recently, it’s been the shifting political climate resulting in unpredictability, financial uncertainty, job loss, tariffs, international events to name but a few.

What to do?

When you see the potential impact of distress - frequently yawns throughout the meeting (lethargy), people missing deadlines they wouldn't have in the past (trouble focusing, problems remembering),  not showing up to social events (lack of motivation, withdrawal), or people snapping (irritability) - what do you do?
  1. Make sure you are in a good headspace to have the conversation. Prior to offering support, check in with yourself, assess if you have the psycho-emotional bandwidth to offer support to your employee.
  2. Have a compassionate conversation. You first want to make sure the employee has the bandwidth for the conversation, so I suggest setting up some time on their calendar for a one-on-one; if you’re in the office together, going for coffee can be a nice alternative. Ask them - is everything okay - this is not like you.
  3. Create space for the employee to respond. Once you finish your conversation opener, now it’s time to pause and listen. When listening, you are doing so for several reasons: to see if the employee is willing to engage with you, to potentially understand the root cause of the observed behavior, and as a form of support.
  4. Offer support. Empathic support is great; you can and should say: “I’m sorry to hear that.” However, while you may not be able to solve the uncertainty problem, as a manager you are uniquely positioned to offer real, tangible support that could have a meaningful impact on reducing the employee’s current stress load. An often-overlooked form of active support that also allows the employee to maintain their agency is to first ask, “How can I best support you during this period?” Oftentimes employees know what might make a difference to help them through a challenging time.

What are the solutions?

You don’t have to wait until you see signs of employee distress to offer support. Times of uncertainty are great opportunities for managers to practice proactive management skills that can limit distress. By acknowledging that uncertainty can lead to distress, you can try to manage in a way that reduces uncertainty: 1. Over-communicate. Keep communication with your employees frequent and fact-based. Even if there is nothing new to report, you can share that “I don’t have an update on XYZ.” Why? Because in an absence of information, employees may create their own narratives about what’s going on, and typically their narrative is far more sensational or catastrophizing than the reality. 2. Address common shared experiences. During times of uncertainty, you want to listen for patterns of shared experiences that paint the truth of the current workplace dynamic and its impact on employees. When you hear that, call an all-hands for your team and acknowledge it. And if you’re willing to be vulnerable, share how the current climate is impacting you. 3. Strengthen psychological safety. When psychological safety is high on teams, honesty, help-seeking, and positive group dynamics tend to be higher, too, all of which can buffer employees from distress as they navigate uncertainty. 4. Build self-awareness and self-management. A great way to support your employees during times of uncertainty is to take care of yourself. Specifically by being aware when you may be experiencing distress and then self-managing by seeking support or taking a break, perhaps turning to your own boss. Doing so can model vulnerability and reduce the likelihood that your distress is directed toward employees. Read the full article here.  

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admin/ 12 August 2025

Connection – making our people know they matter

In January 2025, Gallup found employee engagement hit its lowest point in a decade. One data point says only 39% of employees strongly agreed that someone at work cares for them as a person. And findings from the human capital management firm Workhuman show 30% feel “invisible.” Feeling unnoticed is antithetical to engagement and satisfaction at work. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Zach Mercurio, author of The Power of Mattering, offers advice for leaders who need to be better noticers:

  • Rushing is a barrier to seeing others. Slow down. Noticing others takes time, but when leaders always hurry, it becomes too easy to cancel a one-on-one meeting, forget to check in on an employee who’s struggling, or connect  with a team member.
  • Check in…in person: Make space for discussing how people are doing, not just what they are doing, in your real-time interactions.
  • Leverage in-between moments: Connections are built incrementally. Use the few minutes before a virtual meeting starts, time on the elevator, or the couple of seconds after wrapping up a phone call.
  • Observe, remember, repeat: When you learn something significant about an employee, jot it down to help your recall. They’ll feel seen when you bring it up in conversation, and you’ll develop a productive habit.

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admin/ 2 August 2025

Tapping Into the Incomparable Power of a Good Analogy