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admin/ 20 May 2025

Six peak experiences to help us thrive

This a fascinating article on peak experiences that help us thrive. So many leaders I work with  have helping their people thrive and grow as their purpose. There are six key themes in the article for life - here's how they can apply at work. Leaders can help people:

  • Invest in relationships. Creating opportunities for people to build relationships at work. You can't make people have a best friend at work but we know this is a key driver of engagement. As leaders we can create the environment where they can have friends at work. Sarah Wright's research suggests it's the basic things - create opportunities for rapport building before meetings, have some social events like a shared lunch and after work drinks.
  • Practicing virtues. Relationships are also strengthened when we put others’ needs ahead of our own. Such actions are called virtues and can be practiced so they get easier. Michael Leiter developed the 4As for building good culture and protecting against burnout - accomodating others, appreciating, acknowledging and being aware of the people around you.
  • Embrace confelicity. This is an archaic word meaning celebrating the joy of others. Active constructing responding is a great way of doing this and is essential to building relationships. Its also a great tool for leaders to look out for when people are proud of what they have done - to know people better and to recognise what they are proud of.
  • Helping. Making time to serve others is one of the best ways to strengthen social ties. When you are of service to another, the other person will nearly always reciprocate, thereby strengthening the relationship. There are great articles on creating a culture of generosity at work where people are encouraged to help each other - building relationships and productivity.
  • Purpose. People who have identified their purpose in life and act on it have high levels of satisfaction in their lives. Purpose activities nearly always involve other people, providing a platform to have key moments doing something you love and to accentuate its value by adding a social component. We need to help people connect their work to purpose and remind them of your organisations purpose.
One that's a bit harder to relate to work is getting a dog. Individuals with social anxiety or other difficulties in forming relationships can strengthen this brain pathway by adopting a dog. This research found that dogs induce peak Immersion experiences and reduce stress. Just walk a dog, and people will approach you to start a conversation and pet Fido. Perhaps facilitating having pets at work?  

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admin/ 14 May 2025

How social fitness can save your life

When it comes to staying healthy, science shows that social connection is as important as diet and exercise… The Harvard Study of Adult Development has been minutely tracking the lives of some 724 original participants (and some of their descendants) since 1938.  One of its biggest takeaways is that the greatest predictor of health and happiness isn’t a factor like cholesterol levels or blood pressure.  It is the strength of a person’s social ties. But social fitness, one of the study’s directors said, is just like physical fitness:  You must work at it.  Harvard-trained social scientist and author Kasey Killam has a framework for doing so, calling it the 5-3-1 rule. At a minimum:

  • Spend time with 5 different people each week.  These can even be casual acquaintances like someone from your gym or book club.
  • Nurture 3 close relationships.  This means maintaining the close bonds you have with family or good friends.
  • Aim for an hour of social interaction each day.  This doesn’t have to be all at once, and can be combined with activities like doing errands. ​
Of course, these research-based guidelines can be flexed, depending on circumstances like age, lifestyle, and physical limitations.  However, the 5-3-1 rule makes for a great baseline.  Offering some helpful tips to get started, Killam suggests putting some friendships on auto-pilot with a weekly or monthly dinner, walk, or other activity.  You can also put a post-it on your bathroom mirror reminding you to reach out to someone.  You can volunteer in your community, or commit to a set number of 10-minute phone calls each week.  These strategies can help you create new habits that, in time, will become self-reinforcing. Are you getting your 5-3-1 in, and, if not, how can you create a new habit to do so? From the Glasers

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admin/ 13 May 2025

The one word you should never use

Framing things positively has enormous advantages… and there is one negative word you should consider banishing for good… If you ask someone at Disney what time the park closes, they don’t exactly tell you. What they say is that “the park is open until 10 PM.” This is an example of what Debra Jasper, CEO of Mindset Digital, refers to as “positive priming.” And she thinks it should be applied to virtually every interaction. “Start with what you can do, not what you can’t,” she advises. If a client asks if you can meet at 2 PM Tuesday, they do not care or want to hear that you are busy. Instead counter with when you can meet: “I can make Wednesday morning work.”  Or, instead of saying, “I can’t get that to you until Friday,” try, “I can get that to you on Friday.” Above all, Jasper says, there is a word you might want to banish from your vocabulary. That word is unfortunately. If you look up synonyms for “unfortunate” you get words like “grievous”, “dreadful”, and “disagreeable.” Is this really the tone you want to set? The next time you are tempted to begin a communication with “Unfortunately, I can’t…”, pause and rethink. How can you frame this communication positively?  Hint:  Start with the words, “I can.” How often do you find yourself using the word “unfortunately” and what could be your substitute? A great share from the Glasers  

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admin/ 24 April 2025

How to show someone you are listening

Listening is a key leadership - and relationship skill - and one we are often not good at. Caroline Fleck has recently published a book, Validation, which outlines some of the key tools and techniques to actively listen. Leila Rosenberg summarised the key findings from the book as being.

  1. Maintain Eye Contact: Keeping eye contact shows you are focused and engaged.
  2. Use Nonverbal Cues: Nodding, leaning slightly forward, and smiling can signal attentiveness.
  3. Reflect and Clarify: Paraphrasing what the speaker has said and asking clarifying questions can demonstrate understanding.
  4. Affirm with Verbal Feedback: Simple acknowledgments like “I see” or “That makes sense” show you are processing the information.
  5. Avoid Interruptions: Allow the speaker to finish their thoughts without interjecting.
  6. Respond Appropriately: Share your thoughts or feelings once the speaker has finished, showing that you have been processing their message.
These practices help build trust and strengthen communication by confirming that you value what the other person is saying. For more detailed insights, read Validation or Leila's summary.

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admin/ 11 March 2025

How to give yourself more space to think!

This is a great post by the Glasers on an issue so many people have a problem with. One of the key elements of leadership is the ability to prioritise actions that improve the future, even when you are busy tactically now. Without doing this things never improve! So many of us are focused on doing mode — achieving goals and checking items off to-do lists. But better relationships, bigger-picture strategies, and creative thinking all depend on pausing and entering into spacious mode. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Megan Reitz of Oxford University’s Said Business School, and John Higgins, director of research at The Right Conversation, share their research-based tips for making it easier and safer to occasionally switch modes.

  • Give yourself permission:  Pausing requires a leap of faith at first, but soon its benefits will become clear.
  • Train your mind: A mere 10 minutes of mindfulness practice daily will, over time, help you develop a capacity to pay attention differently.
  • Practice guerilla spaciousness:  If your organization is relentlessly promoting doing, be stealthy. Develop small habits that allow you to shift into spacious mode under the radar. Try changing up your environment or scheduling pauses.
  • Ask bigger questions: Pose broader questions to yourself and others, e.g. “What have we not talked about that would help us work together better?”
  • Choose good company:  While you cannot choose your work colleagues, spend more time when you can with individuals and groups that help you expand your thought processes and see things in new ways.