Listening is a key leadership - and relationship skill - and one we are often not good at. Caroline Fleck has recently published a book, Validation, which outlines some of the key tools and techniques to actively listen. Leila Rosenberg summarised the key findings from the book as being.
This is a great post by the Glasers on an issue so many people have a problem with. One of the key elements of leadership is the ability to prioritise actions that improve the future, even when you are busy tactically now. Without doing this things never improve! So many of us are focused on doing mode — achieving goals and checking items off to-do lists. But better relationships, bigger-picture strategies, and creative thinking all depend on pausing and entering into spacious mode. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Megan Reitz of Oxford University’s Said Business School, and John Higgins, director of research at The Right Conversation, share their research-based tips for making it easier and safer to occasionally switch modes.
"Do you have a best friend at work?" is often one of the most discussed of Gallup's Engagement questions. Friendships are so important, they can literally impact life and death. According to a growing body of research, friendships are critical to our health and well being. A review of 38 studies found that adult friendships, especially high-quality ones that provide social support and companionship, significantly predict wellness and can protect against mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Those benefits persist across the life span. Friendships protect to some degree by altering the way we respond to stress - NZ research found if we feel appreciated by our friends and colleagues we are 30x more likely to be doing well mental health wise. Our blood pressure can lower when we talk to a supportive friend. When we have a friend by our side while completing a tough task, we have less heart rate reactivity than those working alone. Friendships can also change our perspective. In one study, people even judged a hill to be less steep when accompanied by a friend. Fortunately, research also suggests that friendships can be forged and maintained at any age. Even minimal social interactions can be powerful. So-called “weak ties” -- interactions we have with casual acquaintances -- can boost our health and sustain positivity. Isolation during the pandemic proved hard on nearly everyone, but it did focus scientific attention on how important human connection is across all ages and all spheres of life. We can't make people be friends at work, but we can create organisational cultures (civil and positive) and work to make space and time where people have at least weak ties that can grow into more. A key theme in engagement surveys we run is people want to work more together.
Some great tips from the Glasers! Communication is the lifeblood of leadership. So why are millions of employees exasperated and thwarted because of unclear communication from their boss?... As more employees are working remotely or in hybrid work environments, the need for successful communication has never been greater. Yet, according to a recent report by FlexOS, employees gave their managers a mediocre 7 out of 10 — basically, a C — on managing hybrid and remote teams. Worse, 30 percent said they’re blocked and discouraged by unclear communication from their bosses. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Gleb Tsipursky, CEO of the consultancy Disaster Avoidance Experts and author of seven bestselling books, says, “As a manager, it’s your job to make sure vital information is shared appropriately and clearly, leaving no room for misunderstandings…” His advice:
To get what you want, try saying nothing, or in the words of the Glaser's book title, Be Quiet, Be Heard, The Paradox of Persuasion. This is a great thought piece for all of us - but especially the humble and introverts who think they have to change to be effective. In a recent evaluation of coaching we completed, listening and asking good questions were perceived as having the biggest impact on people achieving their objectives. “A well-deployed silence can radiate confidence and connection. The trouble is, so many of us are awful at it.” So writes Rachel Feintzeig in the Wall Street Journal, and we couldn't agree more. Most of us rush in to fill any void in a conversation, but remaining still can reap untold benefits. Strategic silence can help in negotiations and selling. Instead of countering every point, try embracing a pause and soon you may find your counterpart jumping in with valuable information that will help you understand their needs and close. Sometimes holding your tongue can feel like going against biology. Humans are social animals, says Robert N. Kraft, professor emeritus of cognitive psychology at Ohio’s Otterbein University. “Our method of connecting— and we crave it — is talking.” For years, Kraft assigned his students a day without words, and many students also found that when forced to stop talking, they bonded better with their peers. Without pauses, we’re generally worse speakers, going off on tangents, stumbling over sounds, offering TMI (too much information), and maybe saying things we later regret. We can also put undue stress on ourselves, as talking to excess can raise our blood pressure, adrenaline and cortisol. So, the next time you are unsure of what to say, try saying nothing at all. https://www.theglasers.com/communication-capsule-blog/silence-the-secret-weapon
